So to start this out I've never blogged in my life but I thought it might be a good way to get feelings out.
So I recently have moved and began my life over from square one in an unfamiliar place with a lot of unfamiliar faces. I packed up and left my home town to start life in the city so I could finally begin to live more day by day. And to say the least it was scary as hell and still to this day it scares me. Everything completely restarted for me
While moving was the best option for me, I had just gotten out of a long relationship that ended in the worst ways. It took me about a year and a half before I finally decided I had to leave. And this November it will have been two years since he left. Which was the best thing EVER. we had a horrible relationship and him leaving gave me my chance to get myself back, as well as get my life back in order too.
So now here I sit in my new temporary home thinking to myself how much better life is. I'm finally shining as bright as the sun and nothing is stopping me from just getting better and better.See my point of view changed after everything went down and I had finally seen what he had done to me, as well as how much I had let myself change from the person that I wanted to be.
I believe every single thing in life happens for a reason, that reason might be unknown but its still there. And I thank my ex everyday for giving me the chance to finally step up and be the man I am today. Don't ever get angry with you ex always thank them because when they leave and screw you over, that's the instant that you can get yourself back and become the person you need to be.
I guess my main thing is with this that you never know what your capable of until something comes in and devastates you life, completely just throws it out of balance. And you get to regain that balance by yourself and with the comfort of your closes family and friends. Be true to yourself, never stray from your own path just to please someone else, and YOU alone can conquer your own fears.
Now don't get my wrong my life has been hell up and moving to somewhere new and being put into positions I've never been put into before but I wouldn't change a single thing that's happened to me. Every single thing that has happened just made me so much stronger in the end.
But there's been two amazing things that have happened to me since I decided to jump out into a new place. FIRST: I finally found myself and got to make a life for me. TWO: I've met one of the most amazing men in my entire life and get to call him mine.
The first part is the most important because I'm finally doing this. It's scary having to find out who you are again you have to do a lot of digging deep inside yourself and review things you never wanted to see again. I've got a dark past with things I'd never even want to see or think about again, But in order to find myself again I had to revisit the dark times that made me the strong willed man I am today.
The second part.... Well that's like getting a bonus check! Meeting someone who always does his best to not only support you but help you better yourself is the most amazing feeling in the world and its one that is unexplained. It's a deep emotional turmoil that feels so great, yet at the same time scares the living shit out of you!
Life's full of so many unexpected turns and so many different thrills. Even if there is bad you can always find something positive to look at in everything. Life is like a picture, you get to choose your landscape, the people in the image, and if its sunny or dark outside. The sun is always shining in my life whether or not I'm having the worst day ever or not I will pick out the positive things that have happened in that day. Doesn't matter if its just something as simple as someone you don't know telling you how beautiful you are, finding a penny on the ground, or even just getting to relax and enjoy something beautiful. No matter what there is always something you can pick out that was good that day, so don't dwell on the negative when the positives are stronger.
For some reason people seem to think that you can only look at big things that happen as good/bad. When the truth is there are many things big and small that you can look at. Take pride in your life. But not so much pride that you look like a complete asshole/bitch then its just not worth it and your getting completely away from what you should be trying to accomplish.
You are always in control of your outcome. I've had to learn the hard way how looking at things in the wrong way can bring you down and completely crush you. Learn from my mistakes and try harder every single day just to be a little more positive or just to overlook little things you have no control over.
I honestly don't think anyone will ever even read this but that's not the point in why im doing it. I'm doing it to put my emotions out and to see everything in plain text, just to make life that much easier and get all the good and the bad out there whether or not it helps anyone else or if they care or not. Makes me feel better.
